Bitterness, Part 3

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Bitterness, Examining Item #6

#6. What do I need to work on?

When thinking about the question, “What do I need to work on?” we can feel overwhelmed by negative self talk. “I’m such a looser, I need to work on everything!” First look at your character defects. Some possibilities are listed below. As you identify some of the traits that don’t get you what you want, write them down. This is NOT about judging yourself. Select two to three traits that you think need to be replaced with your character assets.

Abrasiveness
Aggression
Aloofness
Anger
Apathy
Argumentativeness
Arrogance
Attention-seeking
Bigotry
Belligerence
Bitterness
Bossy
Braggart
Carelessness
Complainer
Compulsive
Critical
Cruelty
Deceitful
Defensiveness
Denial
Dependent
Depression
Detached
Dishonesty
Disorganized
Distant
Distrustful
Dominating
Dramatic
Egocentric
Enviousness
Evasiveness
Fear
Flightiness
Forgetful
Gluttony
Gossiping
Grandiose
Greed
Guilty Conscience
Hate
Head-strong
Hostile
Humorless
Immature
Impatience
Impulsive
In-authenticity
Inconsiderate
Inconsistent
Indecisive
Indulgent
Inhibited
Insecure
Insensitive
Intolerant
Irritable
Isolationism
Jealousy
Laziness
Lust
Lying
Manipulative
Materialism
Negative Thinking
Neglect
Obsessed
Opinionated
Over Cautious
Overly-emotional
Passivity
Perfectionism
Perversion
Pessimism
Preoccupation
Pride
Procrastination
Promiscuity
Quarrelsome
Rageful
Rebellious
Reckless
Resentful
Rudeness
Sarcasm
Secretive
Self centered
Self condemnation
Self doubting
Self hating
Self importance
Selfishness
Self justification
Self pity
Self seeking
Short temperedness
Shyness
Snobbery
Stinginess
Stubbornness
Submissive
Superficial
Thin-skinned
Thoughtless
Timid
Uncritical
Undependable
Undisciplined
Unemotional
Unfriendly
Unrealistic
Unromantic
Unscrupulous
Unstable
Vague
Vanity
Vindictive
Vulgar
White-knuckled
Withdrawn
Workaholic

Lets return to the previous example in which one’s boyfriend cheated. In this scenario, being critical, arrogant, and insensitive could have been character defects that derailed the relationship. On a piece of paper, the cheated on person would write one incident in which being critical, arrogant and insensitive caused outcomes that were not desired.

Select your own event. Write about it. From the list above, select three character traits that negatively impacted the situation you wrote about. Then STOP. Consider the incident you wrote about, and how the three character traits you selected, have not served you well.

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