Author: Ann Schiebert
Bitterness, Examining Item #6
#6. What do I need to work on?
When thinking about the question, “What do I need to work on?” we can feel overwhelmed by negative self talk. “I’m such a looser, I need to work on everything!” First look at your character defects. Some possibilities are listed below. As you identify some of the traits that don’t get you what you want, write them down. This is NOT about judging yourself. Select two to three traits that you think need to be replaced with your character assets.
| Abrasiveness Aggression Aloofness Anger Apathy Argumentativeness Arrogance Attention-seeking Bigotry Belligerence Bitterness Bossy Braggart Carelessness Complainer Compulsive Critical Cruelty Deceitful Defensiveness Denial Dependent Depression Detached Dishonesty Disorganized Distant Distrustful Dominating Dramatic Egocentric Enviousness Evasiveness Fear Flightiness Forgetful Gluttony Gossiping Grandiose Greed Guilty Conscience Hate Head-strong Hostile Humorless Immature Impatience Impulsive In-authenticity Inconsiderate Inconsistent Indecisive Indulgent Inhibited Insecure Insensitive Intolerant Irritable Isolationism Jealousy Laziness |
Lust Lying Manipulative Materialism Negative Thinking Neglect Obsessed Opinionated Over Cautious Overly-emotional Passivity Perfectionism Perversion Pessimism Preoccupation Pride Procrastination Promiscuity Quarrelsome Rageful Rebellious Reckless Resentful Rudeness Sarcasm Secretive Self centered Self condemnation Self doubting Self hating Self importance Selfishness Self justification Self pity Self seeking Short temperedness Shyness Snobbery Stinginess Stubbornness Submissive Superficial Thin-skinned Thoughtless Timid Uncritical Undependable Undisciplined Unemotional Unfriendly Unrealistic Unromantic Unscrupulous Unstable Vague Vanity Vindictive Vulgar White-knuckled Withdrawn Workaholic |
Lets return to the previous example in which one’s boyfriend cheated. In this scenario, being critical, arrogant, and insensitive could have been character defects that derailed the relationship. On a piece of paper, the cheated on person would write one incident in which being critical, arrogant and insensitive caused outcomes that were not desired.
Select your own event. Write about it. From the list above, select three character traits that negatively impacted the situation you wrote about. Then STOP. Consider the incident you wrote about, and how the three character traits you selected, have not served you well.