How can one safely provide feedback when asked for it? We all know the usual outcome for the set up question: “Honey, do I look fat in this dress?” If, “yes,” is your honest opinion, and you and the person …
Uninvited Criticism
Just what is criticism, and why do others think they have the right to make uninvited critical statements? This is a mystery! "I hate your purse because it looks like a shoe! I would never buy such a thing." or, …
Intimacy Filled Pastiming Exercise: VALUES
You can do this exercise alone, or with your partner. If you do it with your partner, do it one at a time: one can read the value and the definition to the other. Then switch.
Get a sheet of …
Intimacy Filled Pastiming: Signs of Healthy Boundries
Now that we understand unhealthy boundaries, and how they would form a barrier to Intimacy Filled Pastiming, let’s look at Healthy Boundaries, describe them, and investigate how they could help facilitate Intimacy Filled Pastiming.
Appropriate trust
Revealing a little of …
Intimacy Filled Pastiming: Unhealthy Boundaries
The subject of boundaries is immense. Below are some of the signs of unhealthy boundaries. Some of them are comprehensible all by themselves. I think that others are not self explanatory. Therefore, next to the signs that I think might …
Intimacy Filled Pastiming: Boundaries – Part 3
Continuing our discussion about boundaries, it might be helpful to remember the image above. It is disrespectful and unkind to violate some one’s boundaries. It will put huge impediments on the road to Intimacy Filled Pastiming.
Internet Boundaries
How long …
Let’s Make a Contract Holiday Offer
Happy Holidays!
As my special gift to you, I’m offering a Let’s Make a Contract Holiday Special.
Buy three books in the Let’s Make a Contract series an get the fourth book FREE!
The four books in the Let’s …
Intimacy Filled Pastiming: Boundaries – Part 2
Everyone has boundaries but often we don’t know what they are or how to put words to them. The following will give some language with which you can consider yours.
Food Boundaries
These are so commonly disrespected! Example: You just …
If It’s Not Working for YOU
Do you remember the old sitcom called the Bob Newhart Show? It ran from 1972 – 1978. I will never forget Bob Newhart acting the part of a psychologist who was treating a woman who was afraid of being …
Intimacy Filled Pastiming: Boundaries – Part 1
What are boundaries? Why do we need to have boundaries?
Knowing your mate’s boundaries will provide a path to Intimacy Filled Pastiming. Boundaries set the limits for what is OK and what is NOT OK. If something is NOT OK, …