Author: Ann Schiebert
A New Technique for Starting to Heal Past Wounds
Just About Gratitude
Now that we have our JARS, let’s think about how to deal with them. Even though we have metaphorically externalized our bitterness toward the people who wounded us, the idea is to neutralize each resentment.
To begin, select the JAR for the person you have the LEAST resentments toward. Select one resentment from the JAR. Write about it and here’s how you do that, which is very similar to the 10th Step of Alcoholics Anonymous:
- Write about the event you selected from your JAR.
- What came up for you that wounded you? Name the feeling you attached to the emotional pain that was rendered you.
- What memories from your past did this hurt, bring up for you?
- What would you do differently if you could do this situation over again?
Next, write about the things that you can be grateful for regarding your affiliation with this person. Just make a list. Were they ever kind to you? Did they ever do a favor for you? When your list is complete, write those things in the JAG you have made for this person. When you are ready to let go of that particular resentment, cross it out of your JAR container. If you are not ready to let go of your bitterness about the memory you selected, go back to the beginning, and again write about the event you selected from your JAR. Continue through item 4. This is the way to extinguish resentments and bitterness that you have held from past events.
Why is this important work? Read next post.