Every time you make a date with me
You are two hours late and I feel unimportant
Or something, “comes up,” so I feel second rate
Why do I keep putting up with this lack of caring
Why do I …
Excuses
Author: Ann Schiebert
Reality Clarity Systems and
Intimacy Filled Pastiming
For all of us on a journey to a healthy life, a life away from the RDS that caused us problems and emotional pain, the goal is a sustained Reality Clarity System and Intimacy Filled Pastiming. The RCS will allow …
Reality Clarity Systems and Intimacy Free Pastiming
Reality Clarity Systems lend themselves to Intimacy Free Pastiming – the healthy part of it. Remember, the unhealthy part of Intimacy Free Pastiming is activities excessively done in solitude – like joining a gaming community every night until you go …
Connections between Reality Distortion Systems, Reality Clarity Systems and Intimacy Free and Intimacy Filled Pastiming
Reality Distortion Systems are based on denial. Reality Clarity Systems are based on overcoming denial and embracing a new, more accurate, perspective. Intimacy Free Pastiming is based on having activities, communications, hobbies that one can do alone or with another. …
Reality Clarity Systems – Summary 7
Actualization
Courage – It takes great courage and perseverance to get out of one’s RDS. We will have to be perpetually courageous because the RDS will pull at us for the rest of our lives. Remember, many of us were …
Reality Clarity Systems – Summary 6
Let’s review the remaining items on the way to Actualization –
1. Accountability – This can be difficult because you will be pulled in two different directions for accountability – a) your RDS will want to hold you accountable for …
Reality Clarity Systems – Summary 5
Actualization
Actualization! You have made it out of your RDS into your new Reality Clarity System! That does not mean that there won’t be pulls back to the RDS, but you have done much work to actualize!
In this stage, …
Reality Clarity Systems – Summary 4
Acceptance
Acceptance, in the RDS/RCS (Reality Distortion Systems / Reality Clarity Systems) context, is the internal knowledge and belief that those in our RDS, won’t change because we want them to do so, or because we have new information or …
Reality Clarity System – Summary 3
Bargaining
Now, you start bargaining with yourself. You have walked away from all the guilt that comes from the RDS but now you say to yourself, "Is this really what I want?" "Can I ignore my family?" "Is it my …
Reality Clarity Systems – Summary 2
So there is mom, at the front door, inviting you in for the holiday meal. And the GUILT stage begins:
"I wouldn’t want to hurt mom’s feelings." "It would be so bad to disrespect mom by declining her invitation to …