Author: Ann Schiebert

Types of Intimate Relationships

Cheating, Part 1

When trust is broken in an intimate relationship, it takes great effort to reestablish it. For some, cheating becomes a relationship style because when one’s primary relationship becomes boring, cheating temporarily provides freedom from responsibilities, excitement, stimulation, lust, and the romantic longings that often fade after a couple becomes familiar with each other. Clandestine affairs, by definition, are relationships that are conducted in the utmost secrecy, and this element also contributes to the enthusiasm and eagerness for two people to be together.

So why else do people cheat?

1. Lack of intimacy! Isn’t that interesting. The topic of intimacy is exactly why you are reading this blog. Feeling neglected, ignored, and unappreciated, is usually the outcome of lack of emotional connection and support. These are all huge barriers to intimacy.

2. No sex! Is this really a surprise? Romantic relationships must also be physical relationships in order to survive. If one party in a relationship wants sex, and the other doesn’t, there is a severe break in intimacy.

3. Often, when one person discovers the other has cheated, instead of mending or ending the relationship, the wounded person seeks revenge. Of course, this does double damage to one’s relationship and sometimes puts impenetrable barriers to the idea of ever being intimate with one’s significant other, again.

4. The inability to say, “NO!” to someone who is raising low self esteem and validating one’s attractiveness, is hard to resist. These ego strokes often confirm to the person receiving them, that, “they still have what it takes,” to attract a romantic relationship.

5. You are lonesome, and your partner disgusts you. It does feel lonely when one is no longer attracted to one’s partner. The old saying, “familiarity breeds contempt,” is often true, when the person we thought we knew, over time evolves into someone we barely know. This is one reason why it is beneficial to take time to REALLY know a person before getting into a committed relationship.

More on cheating, next post.