Excuses

excuses

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Every time you make a date with me
You are two hours late and I feel unimportant
Or something, “comes up,” so I feel second rate
Why do I keep putting up with this lack of caring
Why do I feed my own resentments by accepting your excuses

I need to believe that you REALLY do
LACK INTEREST in, “us”
So I’ll stop permitting my own disrespect
But I keep lying to myself and making excuses
For behavior that actually says you don’t care.

Excuses – you are a master of them
So creative with reasons I could never have imagined
Some one’s always visiting who you haven’t seen in ages
Business crises perpetually arise, roommate problems
And I sit here making excuses for your excuses

I tell myself that you care, but are busy
That you are popular and in demand
I make up reasons why your reasons are valid
I excuse you for all the disappointments
I want out, but feel stuck – there’s an excuse!

Rationalizing your excuses keeps my feet cemented

To empty hopes that just once, you will make me a priority
My mind says, “Wait and see if things change, be understanding, avoid conflict
Be loving and kind, and a, “good girl,”‘ so I won’t think of myself

As some demanding bitch who asks for too much

But I am tired of excuses
I am working on action
My acceptance of excuses has empowered them
My inability to hold you accountable for broken promises
Has set myself up for more

I’m DONE – If I can only find the strength to walk away
To leave my own excuses.

 

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