Author: Ann Schiebert
Dear Ann: I think I am loving and caring toward my partner. However, she doesn’t seem to think so. Can you inform me about what women think are loving and caring behaviors? I’m at a loss. Flowers don’t work.
How do we impart to those we love our deep feelings for them? How do we show them our loving and caring? What about asking your partner what feels loving and caring to them? Often, what we think is meaningful to our loved one, is way off the mark.
The following is a compilation of what patients have said over the years – behaviors that their partners do that feel loving and caring. How often do you do these?
Holding my hand when we are out
Holding my hand in private
Telling me I’m pretty/handsome
Kissing my hand
Looking in my eyes
Putting an arm around my shoulder
Tenderly kissing my neck
Coming up from behind me and putting your arms around me from the back
Whispering that you love me
Doing the dishes after dinner
Planning a surprise no matter how small
Listening to a problem without telling me what to do
Complimenting my clothing, hair, shoes, etc.
Cooking a favorite meal
Cooking with me
Going shopping with me, even if you sit in a chair on the main floor
Doing activities together that involve conversation with each other
Conversing with me about an important decision rather than making it by yourself
Cuddle with me
Write your own Valentine card
Let me know in advance if there is a problem so I can have some time to think about it before we open a discussion
Pick some flowers out of our garden and give them to me
Kiss me at the movies
Show interest in what I have to say
Speak to me in a kind and respectful manner
Ask me about my day and listen to my response
Invite me to rest
Encourage me to reach for my biggest dreams
I am sure there are many more. I invite you to add to this list through the comment section.
The behaviors listed above invite intimacy – intimate conversation, and a togetherness that will help create bonding. It is crucial that we know how we can interact with those we love in a manner that is a meaningful, caring, action…..TO THEM!