Finding Love



Were you ever sure that there wasn’t someone for you? Have you looked far and wide and no one seemed like they could actually accept you for the person that you are, or their focus was on everything but you? Have you buried the feelings that what your heart longs for (even secretly behind the pronouncements that you are fine without a partner) is that special connection, that acceptance and caring from someone who doesn’t want anything from you but to be allowed to love you? Have you lost hope? Have you worked on accepting that there is no match out there for you?

Don’t give up! Don’t lose heart! If you really want it, and if you put yourself, “out there,” so people know you might be available, it will come to you. Just like a magnet is drawn to a field, your mate will find you. You might have to kiss a dozen toads until you are found, but if you believe, you will find your love and he/she will find you. You will find that person who feels so comfortable that you can’t help but let yourself fall……in love, in caring, in lust, in fondness, in kindness, in tenderness, in wanting more! You can’t help but want to spend time with this person to make sure you are not seeing a mirage.

Once you are found, have patience. Love, trust, respect, all take time to grow. But you will have an inkling that this one person is so special that you can’t consider not having them in your life. We often tend to rush into sex, commitment, and future planning, without taking the time to enjoy the moments needed to build a foundation for an intimate relationship. Gather those special together times like you would diamonds. Put them in velvet. Wrap each occasion as a treasure. Relish it. From these will come the pebbles that form a solid foundation for a relationship.

Intimacy comes from gently discovering the secrets of the other, and accepting them, without judgment. Intimacy evolves from the sharing of the self: talking, physical touch, comparing experiences, laughter, looking in each other’s eyes. Intimacy is the accumulation of experiences with someone who you learn to trust to not intentionally wound your heart…and if it is unintentionally bruised, intimacy will provide the tenderness needed to heal the wound.

Allow yourself to let go and love. Allow your potential partner to earn your trust. Open to the sweetness of finding each other.

And if it doesn’t work out? Maybe some emotional pain, but think about how much you’ve discovered while on the path to learning how to be intimate with another heart.

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