Author: Ann Schiebert
Types of Reality Distortion Systems
Porn, Part 2
Porn intrudes on normal sexual relationships. It can seem more exciting than having intimate relationships with a partner. Internet porn produces a double neurochemical rush because the viewing of extreme material coupled with the rush of the reinforcing orgasm consolidates learning and eventually changes the wiring of synapses in the brain.
One of the outgrowths of Internet porn are the masturbation-focused Internet groups that any find more exciting than having sex with a mate. some of these sites are moderated, and the practice of, “edging,” (wherein participants bring themselves to the brink of orgasm repeatedly, without ejaculation, to sustain extremely high levels of sexual arousal for hours) become the norm. It is understandable how one can eventually prefer this to sex with a partner.
Abstinence from porn sites and porn materials leads the brain back to normal sensitivity. The porn addict’s preference for extreme sexually arousing materials eventually evaporates and once again normal sexual partners become attractive. Addiction to porn can permeate one’s life, and isolate one from human interactions. Recovery from porn addiction leads to the ability to find social interactions easier and more rewarding. Those in recovery find themselves less depressed, more able to readily laugh, more optimistic, and better able to be in control of their lives.
What to work on: Like other Reality Distortion Systems, leaving the Pron RDS requires getting rid of the behaviors and paraphernalia one used in their addiction. For recovery, it is imperative to be abstinent from masturbation and from those websites, videos, and other materials that one used during active addiction. In recovery, we must find activities that will fill the void created by abstinence from porn. When feeling sexual, seek out your partner. With enough practice, your brain will rewire itself back to allowing pleasure from interpersonal sexual behavior.
How to Implement New Behavior: Be aware of the feelings you experience when you are triggered or when you experience cravings to return to your addiction. Write your feelings down. Many use porn to offset anxiety, anger, lonesomeness, tiredness and boredom. We must find alternative behaviors to salve these feelings. Some turn to exercise. Others regularly attend SLA meetings (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous). Meditation and hobbies also help offset triggers and cravings when longings to return to porn addict behaviors, arise. Make a written plan for what you are going to do.
Next post – What to resist