Author: Ann Schiebert
A Reality Clarity System is open. It is comprised of people who are in the process of leaving; those who have left their family or corporations or churches etc, RDS. They have opened to new information and have rejected the validity of the distortions under which those in their RDS live. It takes a lot of work to get to a RCS!
In the figure above, look at the road one travels.
About the time one reaches the depression, guilt and bargaining stages, the RDS starts to fall apart. Why? Because if one person leaves it, the system can’t fully sustain itself. One of the believers DIDN’T BELIEVE, and now others might question the RDS and start the process of leaving also. Or they might remain in the RDS but it will never be exactly the same after someone leaves.
The depression, guilt and bargaining stages are the most difficult to pass through. They are full of emotions, manipulations, self doubt and enticements. Let’s look at each of these stages. In this post, we’ll examine the stage of depression:
1. Depression: Those who are on their way out of a RDS often feel depressed because they have left the group, or questioned the group, and now they find themselves on the outside looking in. Have you ever walked outside your home on a large holiday where the family is gathered and looked at them through the window? What would you see? People having fun, eating special food, celebrating together, and there you are on the outside without personal contact, without the camaraderie, without the creature comforts. Now if this happened day after day, think how depressing that would feel.
But wait! As you look in the window you see something else! You see your brother punching your sister-in-law in the arm and she begins to cry. You see your family run to her rescue and explain to her that her husband really loves her and that while some of his behavior isn’t all that great, she needs to be patient. And your brother tells his wife that she shouldn’t be so sensitive, that he was just playing. And you remember why you left your family’s RDS – because it enabled physical abuse.
You walk away from the window with sadness, knowing you are doing the right thing. You feel depressed that your family enables your brother’s treatment of his wife. You vaguely recall your father doing the same thing to your mother. Then the front door of your house opens, and there is your mother beckoning you to come inside and have some dinner. You have just entered the guilt phase on the path from a RDS to a RCS.
Guilt – next post