Author: Ann Schiebert

With practice, Susan will actually become a different person with a reality that is one SHE has worked to actualize: She is not going to pass her family of origin’s RDS on to another generation.  What Susan has done is design her behaviors to be in congruence with her beliefs and words.  Susan is the first out of her family’s RDS, and as such, she will have many more challenges than her offspring, who won’t understand that she has freed herself from a denial system that RULED her life.  She has freed herself from having her life be controlled by the disease of alcoholism.

Susan will continue to attend Alanon.  She will continue to phone people who have similar Reality Clarity Systems to get objective opinions when she is tempted to ease her way back into the RDS of her family.  This can be accompanied by grief and loss.  If Susan’s family stays in their RDS, Susan will feel like she is on the outside looking in.  But she felt that way when she was introduced to the idea that the alcoholic in her family was controlling the family dynamics.

The hope is, that due to Susan’s new perceptions, Susan’s family will start to question their RDS.  Maybe Susan will invite her mother and siblings to attend an Alanon meeting with her.  Maybe Susan’s mother will call to inquire about some good books about codependency and addiction.  Susan can recommend Melody Beattie’s book, Codependent No More, for starters.  Who knows how this will work out, but what we do know is that Susan is not being controlled by the chaos that comes from living in a family controlled by addiction….and she will not pass her family’s RDS on to her own children.

Next Post:  more about the systems of Reality Distortion and Reality Clarity