Author: Ann Schiebert

Acceptance

Acceptance, in the RDS/RCS (Reality Distortion Systems / Reality Clarity Systems) context, is the internal knowledge and belief that those in our RDS, won’t change because we want them to do so, or because we have new information or a new and different perspective.  To quote Wikipedia, acceptance is a person’s recognition of, "the reality of a situation."  It is, "recognizing a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change, protest or exit."

When we are in the Acceptance Stage of recovery, we recognize the reality that those in our RDS are staying in it.  We, "assent to the reality," that we can’t change them, and our lectures and protests have availed us nothing.  They have not facilitated anyone in our RDS to reconsider the belief system based on denial.  We can leave our RDS, but we usually will have contact with the people in it, for one reason or another.  Unless our RDS of origin is extrememly toxic, we don’t usually totally leave it.  We look at the dynamics of the people in the RDS and believe that they don’t want to change.  We accept that they are going to remain as they are, even if that acceptance comes with a heavy heart.

There is another piece to Acceptance, however. It is Accepting our changes, our clarity about the RDS to which we were born, and our Acceptance that it took courage for us to confront it and change ourselves.  We learn to Accept our differences, and we work to Accept our new RCS.  In our previous example, the RCS was that spousal abuse was not tolerable behavior and we could not be in a family that covertly put it in the, "OK Coral," by not addressing and confronting it.

Acceptance is a continuing process. But once we have reached this stage, we are more empowered to resist any pull back to our RDS.

Next Post – Actualization