Author: Ann Schiebert
Types of Reality Distortion Systems
Shopping: Part 4
The belief system in any Reality Distortion System is what keeps the distortion in place. Remember, denial is at the heart of every RDS. For the Shopping RDS, denial tells us, “I don’t have a problem with shopping.” “I need these items.” “I’ll deal with the bill for my purchases later.” “I can pay for this with next month’s paycheck.”
In order to leave this RDS and head to a Reality Clarity System that gives one freedom from the obsession and compulsion of shopping, one must replace the beliefs enumerated below. Without a replacement for beliefs based on denial, a vacuum is created which will probably lead one back to the RDS. This ping pong effect will serve to confuse and disorient the compulsive shopper.
| Beliefs in this RDS: | Replace With: |
| 1. People don’t understand. | 1. People don’t like to watch my addiction. |
| 2. I am a collector. | 2. I am a compulsive buyer. |
| 3. Shopping makes me happy. | 3. Shopping puts me in debt and clutter. |
| 4. This item is such a deal, I can’t pass it up. | 4. I don’t need this item – even if it was free. |
| 5. Oh, this is so cute, I can give it to… | 5. Buying this now, is not on my gift giving plan. (Create such a plan.) |
| 6. I’ll buy this one thing and then I’ll stop. | 6. I won’t stop. |
| 7. I’ll pay it off next month. | 7. I can’t afford this. |
| 8. I’ll charge it and worry about paying for it later. | 8. I can alleviate worry about affordability by not buying this item |
| 9. I NEED this item and can’t live without it. | 9. I need to exercise. |
| 10. I’ll feel so anxious if I don’t buy it. | 10. I need a Debtors Anonymous meeting. |
There are surely many other beliefs that sustain the denial in this RDS, but for starters, work on replacing the ones listed above. It is also important to have a structure around shopping, because even with a shopping issue, we must buy groceries and holiday/birthday remembrances. Make a structure for yourself. For grocery shopping, make a list and do not allow yourself to deviate from it. For holiday gifts, either give gift cards or take someone with you and advise that person of your budget.
Next post: Gambling